A brief recap:
In my last blog post I was told I had high blood pressure and advised I should go and see my GP. Firstly, thank you all for your texts, letters, e-mails etc asking about my well-being.
I am of course being sarcastic, you uncaring set of bastards. Read the rest of this entry »
Monday was not a proud day, but I’m hoping it will be a watershed moment of sorts.
My employers very kindly gave us all the opportunity to have a quick, free health check, the highlight of which was watching someone feint after having their finger pricked for a cholesterol test. I went down for a few minutes away from my desk, and to pick up a goody bag containing a free Company-branded travel mug. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a morning routine.
I get up, put on my dressing gown, grab a towel from the banister and walk into the bathroom. I have a wee-wee. I only shave on Mondays and Wednesdays, unless I have an important meeting with some important or a presentation or something, but this is rare and avoided at all costs.
If it’s a shave day I shave, then shower. Otherwise I get straight in the shower. Hair, face, armpits, ‘bits,’ feet, always in that order. I get out, dry myself, ruffle my hair in the mirror (if I don’t I’ll have shit hair — well, shitter than usual — all day). Dressing gown on, I put my towel on the banister and go downstairs, put the kettle on. Two mugs; me on the right, whatshername on the right. A teaspoon of coffee in each. A splash of cold water in mine, milk in whatshername’s. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been a couple of weeks now since my last blog. What’s he been up to? is the question that probably couldn’t have been further from your thoughts.
Have I been out running, eating healthily, and losing weight? No. Although I did lose three pounds. Then went out, got hideously swearily offensively drunk and had a curry. Read the rest of this entry »
My mate Steve used to have a poster of Muhammad Ali in his bedroom; the iconic shot of Ali standing over Heavyweight Champion Sonny Liston having flattened him in the first minute of the first round of their 1965 fight.

Read the rest of this entry »