spacemonkeygaz.com

Disclaimer: I don’t hate my job. I wanted to make that point clear in case anyone I work with read my last post, or indeed happens to read this one.

As I hit ‘publish’ after writing my last blog entry, I realised something. I had described myself, with somewhat reckless abandon, as a bitter 28 year-old trapped in a career I’m not entirely happy with.

Instantly my thoughts turned to the ideas I’d already had for my next blog, where, I’d decided, I would describe the idea for my novel and specifically the main character and narrator; 27 year-old singer-songwriter and former accountant Jack Smith, who within the first three thousand words meets a beautiful glamour model who changes his life.

At this point I assumed the reader would arrive at the opinion that my ‘novel’ was in fact the life story I wished I could tell. This isn’t the case. No, really — it isn’t.

The novel is tentatively titled ‘Happy Ending’ (by “tentatively titled” I pretty much mean that if a publisher wanted me to rename it “I’m A Big Stupid Goat” then I wouldn’t put up too much of a fight). It’s worth pointing out here that this is my first attempt at any kind of synopsis. Obviously I don’t want to give too much of the plot away, so it’s an attempt at one of those teasing back-cover blurbs. (Writing synopses is an art in itself, so I’m fully aware of how bad my first attempt will be.)

Here goes:

Jack Smith sees himself as the “caffeine-free Diet Coke” of rock stars. He generally does what he’s told, doesn’t hell-raise, smoke or take drugs, and lives in a modest flat with his long-term girlfriend. About to release his stunning second album, Jack isn’t in it for the celebrity lifestyle. He wants to be critically acclaimed but virtually unknown, and will be happy selling just enough records to prevent him having to go back to his former career as an accountant.

Jack’s record company don’t share his agenda. They release his least favourite track as the album’s lead single and film a tacky video starring three topless models, one of whom is Britain’s most popular glamour model Samantha Louise. Jack hates the video until it pushes him to the top of the charts, and while he’s initially horrified at tabloid speculation that he’s having an affair with Samantha, he quickly learns to embrace life as the media’s flavour of the month.

Consumed by a relentless desire to be recognised as a great songwriter, Jack takes on the media, the music industry and the British public in a fight he can’t hope to win. He tells himself there are no happy endings in life, but can he battle his personal demons and prove to the world that talent and hard work can still triumph over style, marketing budgets and publicity campaigns?

It’s kind of cheesy, I admit, and I’m not altogether happy with it, but as a first gambit, it’ll do (a “first gambit” that took a week of agonising writing, re-writing, editing and tweaking). I’ll post the first chapter or so at some point soon. If you have any comments, if you like the idea, don’t like it, want to read more or think “For God’s sake man that sounds awful — please stop!” then pop a comment below. I’ll try not to get offended. Honest.