spacemonkeygaz.com

Today it was SENSATIONALLY REVEALED that Chelsea and former England football captain JOHN TERRY is NOT the first man in the history of the world to have cheated on his wife.

A recent NEWS OF THE WORLD article lifted the lid on Terry’s four-month affair with lingerie model VANESSA PERRONCEL who, completely irrelevantly, is the ex-girlfriend of Terry’s former teammate WAYNE BRIDGE.

New evidence has come to light that OTHER MEN have also cheated on their wives and long-term partners, including Tiger Woods, Hugh Grant and former American President Bill Clinton.

Some research suggests that cheating may not be the sole preserve of male celebrities, even going so far as to suggest that ORDINARY MEN and even WOMEN also CHEAT and have AFFAIRS.

In the face of this evidence some observers have suggested that the John Terry brouhaha is a COMPLETELY OVERBLOWN MEDIA SHITSTORM exacerbated by Terry seeking to obtain a SUPER-INJUNCTION which would have prevented the media from reporting the story.

The SUPER-INJUNCTION was overturned by SOME JUDGE who said that the injunction was “not necessary or proportionate having regard to the level of gravity of interference with the private life of the applicant”, and “the nub of the applicant’s complaint is to protect his reputation, in particular with sponsors”.

John Terry, most famous of course for playing 6 games for Nottingham Forest in 2000

It is understandable that Terry should seek to protect his reputation and keep private his INABILITY TO KEEP HIS DICK IN HIS SHORTS as losing his lucrative sponsorship deals would force him to survive solely on his PALTRY £170,000 PER WEEK SALARY from Chelsea.

£170,000-a-week is £8.84m a year.  Nearly NINE MILLION ENGLISH POUNDS A YEAR FOR PLAYING FOOTBALL.

Terry’s affair with Ms Perroncel, which obviously has NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER ON HIS ABILITY TO CAPTAIN THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM, has COST HIM HIS ROLE AS CAPTAIN OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM.

He will be replaced as captain by GORMLESS FUCKWIT Rio Ferdinand, himself no stranger to controversy having served a 12-month ban after being convicted of DRINK DRIVING in 1997, since when he has clocked up three further driving bans.

In 2000 Ferdinand was involved in a sex scandal of his own, having been VIDEOED having SEX with a GIRL he’d met in a BAR in Ayia Napa.  In 2003 he FAILED to attend a routine DRUGS test and was BANNED from playing football for eight months.  He is currently serving a four-match ban for VIOLENT CONDUCT.

But the media aren’t interested in this because they are FICKLE CUNTS and want JOHN TERRY’S BLOOD because he tried to DENY them printing stories about his PRIVATE LIFE.  They have SELECTIVE SHORT MEMORIES and are so busy TWISTING THE KNIFE in John Terry’s back that they’ve forgotten what a thoroughly ODIOUS RUNT and DECIDEDLY ORDINARY FOOTBALLER Rio Ferdinand is.

A SOURCE close to the Chelsea star said “I hope PEOPLE REALISE when newspapers use quotes from anonymous sources it’s usually either THE CELEBRITY IN QUESTION or the newspaper WRITING WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY LIKE.”

The media love running stories about footballers because the BRITISH PUBLIC LOVE FOOTBALL yet resent players’ DAFT SALARIES and MILLIONAIRE LIFESTYLES.  This makes them EASY TARGETS for TALENTLESS, RESENTFUL HACKS.

FOOTBALLERS are paid FAR TOO MUCH and think they can do WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY LIKE.  Then when they’re inevitably caught STICKING THEIR DICK WHERE THEY SHOULDN’T they run to teacher to try to stop themselves getting in trouble.

The media are VULTURES who profit from PUBLICISING OTHER PEOPLE’S FUCK-UPS and misfortunes and think they can do WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY LIKE.  They don’t like it when someone tried to stand up to them and stop them printing their POISONOUS FILTH.

Rio Ferdinand is a GORMLESS FUCKWIT.

YOU the BRITISH PUBLIC have a chance to RISE ABOVE all this INANE BOLLOCKS by NOT GIVING A FUCK and CARRYING ON REGARDLESS.

Vanessa Perroncel is NOT BAD but probably not worth RISKING EVERYTHING for.  She’s certainly not in the same league as Claude Makélélé’s ex-missus NOÉMIE LENOIR.