Oct 14, 2009
My completely unapologetic hatred of motorcyclists
Today I received the news I had been expecting but very much not wanting. The lovely gentleman who drove his motorbike into the side of my car has denied all responsibility for the accident and my insurers informed me that it is very likely I will be deemed to have been wholly at fault.
Not my accident
Now in many ways this is irrelevant. If I were 100% at fault, 50% at fault or a tiny bit at fault, it still goes down as an accident on my record, I kiss goodbye to my no claims bonus and my premium goes up. The point is that I object to being told I’m the only one in the wrong when a motorbike rides between two lanes of moving traffic. Yes, it was careless on my part, but it really fucks me off that motorcyclists gets all high and mighty (“THINK BIKE!” FFS) about road safety, while seemingly being a law unto themselves.
I’m not tarring all motorcyclists with the same brush (in the same way I have to tell myself that some lorry drivers might not be cunts), but… well, I’ve forgotten my original point. I’m just pissed off at the moment and need to vent my spleen a bit. Oh, and did you know that whitelining/lane-splitting/whatever you want to call driving in between lanes of moving traffic is illegal in most US states?
Anyway, this weekend I took on two demons which, as you may have noted, have plagued me somewhat in recent weeks. I went to a wedding on Saturday where I drank all day, and, remarkably, was neither violently ill nor embarrassingly drunk. At least not as far as I’m aware.
I’ve not been overly-healthy this week so far, but I haven’t been especially bad. Until today. Friday night we had a lovely meal and a few drinks with friends at Archie’s restaurant, then obviously Saturday involved a lot of canapés and beers and that. Sunday we had a pub lunch with some other friends at the brilliant Navigation Inn in Breaston (I would very much recommend the beef or lamb Sunday lunch option and would advise steering clear of the stuffed mushrooms and risotto. The former went down a storm with the boys while the vegetarian options were less of a hit with the girls.) Today I’ve been a bit of a pig. I made myself an egg sandwich for lunch, then went to Tescos and bought some salt and vinegar crisps. And some beefy jerky. And a bag of Marmite-flavoured cashew nuts (really not that nice, perhaps unsurprisingly).
The reason for this apparent gluttony is that I’m playing football tonight and I don’t want to have any tea beforehand. Last Wednesday night I was hungry when I got home so rushed a toasted cheese and marmite sandwich (my sandwich of choice at the moment, FYI). Fifteen minutes later I thought I was going to sick up said sandwich after the first tiny bit of exertion. So no food tonight either before football or after, when I will go to the pub and drink Diet Coke whilst watching Peter Crouch stumble around looking lost in an England shirt.
And if you’re a motorcyclist, THINK CARS for a change. You know — those big metal things with four wheels that pay more road tax than you that you weave in and out of. Yeah, that’s them. And if you see a black Ford Focus I’d suggest you give it a wide berth because it might be me trying to run you down.
.
Not sure if you saw my status a couple of weeks ago re the motorcyclist who drove into me as I crossed a road on foot but the prat tried to blame that on me as well. I was crossing two lanes, one empty and one stationary. Walked in front of a van in the far lane when a motorbike came up the inside between the truck and the pavement. He slowed down but still hit me but somehow he was the one that ended up on the floor. He tried to blame me despite me being on foot but when I offered him the chance to call the coppers he picked his bike up and buggered off.
My 1st thought – “Shit that looks nasty, lucky rider.”
2nd thought – “Who the fuck let Gaz drive their Merc?”
Fuck me Gaz.
That’s worthy of the type of sweariness I come out with, good show that man.
Oh and for the record 95% of lorry drivers are cunts.
lol sooo funny
1) someone almost dies, im guessing due to (again im guessin) you driving carelessly just because you dong like motorcyleists and all you care about is your no claims bonusm and your premium, where if you can afford a merc, then you have the money to splash about yes? only your guttted because you can’t show this off as its now a write off.
2? if you had a motorbike, dont go telling me you would wait in the traffic rather than gong between the traffic, grow up, where its legal don’t complain, theres a good enough reason why it is legal in places.
3) the “think bike” campaign is to warn dickheaded drivers just like yourself to take more precaution when driving, because you dont have the patience or wits to take the time to look at all the hazards there may be on the roads, if you had, you would not have had an accidentand you wouldnt need to waste your money.
you have made yourself sound like an utter cock, it’s people like you who should be made to stay off the roads as you are a clear threat to others.
Nice rant Kay, thanks.
1) Where did I say someone had almost died? If someone had nearly died I wouldn’t have written a clearly tongue-in-cheek blog about it. FYI, the motorcyclist suffered grazed knuckles (he wasn’t wearing gloves) and no other injuries. It’s also worth noting that I don’t own a Mercedes, as I clearly stated in the caption under the picture. So no, remarkably, I don’t have an infinite pot of money to spunk away on insurance policy excesses.
2) If I had a motorbike I’d be a little more careful than the motorcyclist who drove into the side of my car.
3) Your comment about dickhead drivers like me lacking patience contradicts your point #2 (“…don’t tell me you would wait in the traffic rather than gong [sic] between the traffic…”). And this is part of the problem; dickhead motorcyclists having no patience and weaving through lanes of rush-hour traffic at excessive speeds. The “Think Bike” campaign is a two-way street (no pun intended). The onus isn’t 100% on drivers to be more responsible; motorcyclists need to do their fair share too.
But thank you for a) my first truly hateful blog comment, b) giving me a jolly good laugh, and c) proving once and for all that most motorcyclists are a bitter, humourless bastards.
AWESOME!!!!!!!
toshay!
Have to say gaz -A bit selfish on your part..no claims bonus!!! that guy could have died….Been there not so long ago- Remember stupid fuckin Indian drivers… Stuff/Cars/Bikes who gives a shit, they can all be replaced.
You and the bloke may not be going for beers together anytime soon but yer both still alive- thank God.
Keep an eye on those mirrors when you get new wheels.
All the best.
mikep owner of Honda VTR1000firestorm.
I like Kay, she’s got spunk!
As the motorcyclist said after the accident, “This is why we have insurance.” I quite liked him actually.
I canny see Kay getting any spunk of Gadge..!!
I dunno, he pretends to be quite opinionated and strong minded but if Kay had a nice, nay reasonable set of top bollox I’m sure Gadges ‘spunk’ would be forthcoming.
Forgot to mention, is Kay a journalist..??
She sure knows how to construct a letter, her grammar, punctuality, spelling & general story writing, p!sses all over your bag of bollox Gadge..!!
Hahaha. She is to journalism what Robbie Savage is to radio interviewing.
How could you not have seen the bike? You know — those big metal things with two wheels.
Maybe I did Dave my boy. Maybe I did.