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Monday night the missus and I went for our longest run so far.  My guess that there were “probably” street lights on one particular mile and a half stretch of winding country lanes turned out to be incorrect, but we made it around the full 4.35 mile loop in about three quarters of an hour, which isn’t bad (and, per walkjogrun.net burned off 800 calories).  I felt I could have gone quicker, but we ran at a comfortable pace and by the end — although my legs were tired and aching — I wasn’t especially short of breath.  I’m taking this to be an encouraging sign; it suggests I must be reasonably fit to be able to run four miles and not finish coughing and wheezing my guts up.

That I can describe myself as “reasonably fit” without too much sarcasm is something of a triumph and a surprise.  I don’t do exercise, generally.  The only mildly energetic pursuit I normally indulge in is a spot of cricket in the summer.  Now, as sports go, cricket can be a fairly sedentary game at the best of times.  This year I took over as 2^nd team captain, meaning that I had an excuse to exert myself even less than usual.  Saturdays this summer typically went something like:

• 10:45 — give girlfriend some bullshit excuse about having to leave early for cricket.
• 11am — meet Miserable Musical Macca, Mr Tickle and Ugly Smug Cunt at Cob Corner.  Full English with toast and fried bread plus black pudding and tea (one sugar).  Chat intelligently about the issues of the day.

 

• 12ish— trip to Co-op en route to cricket ground.  Buy Nuts or Zoo or both (depending on attractiveness and/or chest size of cover model and/or likelihood of toplessness), some sugary sweets and a bottle of Orange Lucozade (if I’m feeling hungover).

 

• 1:30onwards — if we’re fielding I stand at first slip shouting encouragement to the lads I get to do all the bowling and running around.  If we’re batting I sit on the balcony occasionally looking up from my copy of Nuts or Zoo or both to cheer on the lads doing all the batting.
• Around 4:30 — tea.  I love playing cricket because it’s one of the few sports which stop halfway through for a meal.  I usually gorge myself, knowing full well I’m going to get my team-mates to do all the batting and bowling.
• 8ish — game finishes.  If we’ve lost I’ll have a few pints of Guinness and maybe console myself with a kebab.  If we’ve won I’ll have a few pints of Guinness and maybe celebrate with a kebab.
• My only real exercise of the day is staggering home about midnight.

 

Apart from four games I missed due to weddings/stag weekends, I did the above every Saturday from mid-April to mid-September.  This is no doubt the primary reason for me putting on weight, not that I’m trying to blame anything other than me and my generally slothful existence and penchant for unhealthy food.

This all makes me especially surprised at how quickly I’ve got into this running malarkey.  I actually feel really motivated to get out there and run further and quicker every time, knowing that I won’t feel completely and utterly fucked at the end of the run.

Tonight, arguably, I’m going to attempt something very, very stupid indeed.  Wednesday nights — as you loyal readers will know — is my 5-a-side night.  A normal Wednesday night involves driving to football, playing football, driving to the pub for a couple of diet cokes or beers (depending on mood), before going home.  Tonight I’m going to jog 2.7miles to play football then jog the 2.7miles home afterwards.  That’s 5.4miles, plus the two or three hundred yards I will probably run during an hour of 5-a-side.

 

*collective sharp intake of breath*

 

There’s no need to worry.  I’ll be fine, honest.  Well, probably.  Possibly. 

I’ve created an iPod playlist of songs which for some reason I think will help me.  Crucially the playlist lasts 29-and-a-half minutes, the target I’ve set myself for each 2.7mile leg.  I know you’re all dying to know what songs make up said playlist so here you go (in order):

 

• So Alive — Ryan Adams
• Bend And Break — Keane.  Yeah, that’s right.  Keane.
• Yesterday’s News [live] — Whiskeytown
• Under The Gun — The Killers
• Fans — Kings Of Leon
• It’s Getting Better (Man) — Oasis
• Goodnight — Easyworld

 

It’s by no means perfect but I’ll see how I get on.

 

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